My Thoughts on the TSA Patdowns

In the last week, I've been patted down twice at airports. I got the patdown because I set off the metal detectors.

Was it like a sexual assault? Let's put it this way:  if my Beehives asked if a boy could touch them that way since he wasn't touching their actual girl parts, I'd say not on your life. No one is allowed to get that close with that kind of pushing and feeling--I don't care what side of the hand they are using. And no one should be feeling around inside the waistband of your jeans without a lot more evidence than "you set off a metal detector." Since I was wearing an undershirt, they didn't touch my skin. Most people would experience a TSA agent going under their clothes to touch their skin. Yuck. Can you say "unreasonable search"?

I did not request a private screening room. Why on earth would you want someone doing the patdown in private with no witnesses?

There is a theme among the pictures I've seen (Friday's WSJ front page, for example) and the people I observed getting the patdown.

It's mostly women who have set off the metal detectors, and for two apparent reasons:

1. A figure that requires supportive undergarments. Both TSA agents acknowledged this to me. The first even complimented the fit of my bra.

2. People with implanted medical devices. TSA agent #2 pushed too hard on my port and demanded to know what it was. She hadn't asked if I had a medical device, and since I don't normally think about it, I hadn't mentioned it. I had to pull down the neck of my shirt to show her my scar and the bump under my skin. It's about three fingers below my clavicle. I explained that it's for cancer, that mine is made of plastic, and that it doesn't have enough metal to harm an MRI machine.

So from my observations, we're scrutinizing curvy women and women with fake knees and port-o-caths. In other words, we're wasting most of our time searching people who are not remotely dangerous. And everybody knows it, including the TSA agents.

This has got to be the easiest screening ever for a would-be terrorist to avoid. Just don't put metal on your body.