Wednesday, May 27, 2009


When my brother Alex was a little lad, he had a funny fake snore: it was the word "honkshee." I remember him running around yelling "Honkshee, honkshee, honkshee." (It was sleeprunning, I guess.)

Little Zeke has developed his own method. He has always been good at indicating he's ready for bed. When he was super teeny, he would lean towards the crib. Then he graduated to pointing. Now, he finds his favorite blankie and a pacifier, finds me, and then lies down near my feet and fake snores. Fake snores! It's super funny.

Monday, May 25, 2009

An Alarming Sunday

Yesterday was a very eventful day.

Jeremy had removed Zeke from the building because the other ward had the chapel doors open and Zeke has a charmingly loud little voice. They went out on the lawn. Jeremy turned around for one second. When he turned back around, Zeke was holding a mushroom with a giant bite out of it.

Jeremy did not panic. He called poison control. They told him to get some ipecac syrup and give it to Zeke within 35 minutes. Jeremy went to Walgreens, where they couldn't find the ipecac for several minutes, and then headed home to induce vomiting.

Meanwhile, someone was kind enough to tell me what had happened at the end of Primary. I went to get Victor from Nursery, but he had already excused himself, run across the back of the other ward's Sacrament Meeting, and found the candy jar in the clerk's office. I found him, lost him again, and found him again with help from several kind people.

Then Victor and I went into my appointment with the Bishop. That went as you can imagine, especially when Victor announced that he needed to use the potty. We ran and he did--which was awesome. When we got back, we had to wait to continue our appointment.

Then Victor pulled the fire alarm.

The fire alarm went off and people had to run around looking for the key to turn it off before the fire department came.

What did I do? I just sat there with my hands over my face.

Friday, May 22, 2009

New Dishwasher

We decided to replace the dishwasher after the old one died. I have to say that the new one, although an unexpected budget item, has been wonderful.

First, it gets the dishes really, really clean. Squeaky clean. The old one was more of a hot water rinse for pre-cleaned dishes that usually found some way to leave deposits on the glasses.

Second, it is very, very quiet. Like a mouse. It does not disrupt conversations or television programs or the neighbors.

Third, because each rack has its own spinning, washing arm underneath it, I can load things flat on the bottom rack and not worry about blocking the washing apparatus for the top rack.

Fourth, because I bought it at Sears, they price-matched a lower price I found in the next city over.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Fly Swatter

Victor is very interest in fly swatters.

This afternoon, while I was talking on the phone, I heard Victor telling a fly that he was going to swat it. I found him stalking said fly with a four-foot long board that had come loose from our spare bed.

In the interest of not losing our computer, TV, or drywall to his enthusiastic fly swatting, I showed him the real fly swatter and demonstrated it proper (and hygienic) use.

Of all the lessons I've taught Victor, I hope that "don't use a 1 x 4 to swat flies in the house" sticks with him.


Romantic Evening + Victor = No Romance

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Seven Years of SwindleFun

Today is our seventh wedding anniversary.

Our wedding was fantastic, despite a last minute dress substitution and the wrong flowers and the fact that the Grand America printed the price on the menus because someone forgot to mention that it was a wedding luncheon.

Jeremy says, of our seven years, "It's been nice."

I agree.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Today, I was hoping to find a big pile of bills in the mailbox.

But I didn't get a single one!

I feel disappointed.

Maybe tomorrow.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

101 Dalmations

I've always wondered something about 101 Dalmatians.

Roger writes the song "Cruella de Ville," and it's a big hit. It's also defamatory. It calls Cruella evil, scary, a spider, a vampire bat, etc. Now, in America, were Cruella to sue for defamation, Roger could defend based on truth. Not so in England.

So why didn't Cruella sue? She seems litigious enough.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Left and Right

Okay. Confession time.

I'm not so good with lefts and rights.

If I am driving a car and you are sitting in the passenger seat and you say, "Go left," chances are, I'll turn right. I usually try and compensate by keeping my left hand in the shape of an "L," but it doesn't always work. When Jeremy gives me directions, he points. When I give him directions, I either tap the window (for "go right") or point (for "go left").

Lately, it occurred to me that I should try extra-hard to get my lefts and rights straight for the sake of my children. I've been making an effort to point out (accurately) right and left.

And I think it's working!

Last week, Victor and I were putting stickers on his playhouse. I said, "Where does this one go?" And he nodded his head to one side and said, "Put it on the right." Sure enough, that's where it belonged.

Then this week, his grandma asked him where McDonald's was as they drove down the road, and he said, before he could see it, "It is on the left." Sure enough, it was on the left.

I therefore declare Victor free of the left-right curse, and brilliant besides.

At least, I hope so. Now, if he can also learn to tell time . . .

Thursday, May 7, 2009

My Favorite Vegetable

Zucchini is my favorite vegetable. I think it is delicious.

My favorite way to eat zucchini is to slice it medium to thin and then sautee it in a pan with a little olive oil and salt and pepper, along with squash, carrot spears, and a few sliced mushrooms.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Amish Friendship Bread

About three weeks ago, my neighbor gave me some Amish Friendship Bread, a starter, and a sheet of instructions. I haven't done it in years, and it's delicious, so I gladly accepted the gift.

The instructions say that only the Amish know the secret to the starter, but I have my doubts that it's really Amish. First, the starter comes in a Ziploc bag. Do the Amish use Ziploc? Second, the recipe calls for vanilla instant pudding mix. I don't associate instant pudding mix with the Amish.

Maybe I'm uninformed about where the Amish shop and what they buy, but I'm pretty sure I didn't see Ziploc or instant pudding in the Amish store I visited three years ago.

If you get a starter but you don't want to do the whole "pass along the love" thing, you can make the bread directly from your starter without adding any thing on day six or adding and dividing the starter on baking day. Also, if you find yourself with lots of starters, and are bored of friendship bread, you can make a bundt cake instead. It's really delicious.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Creatures at the Zoo

Yesterday, we went to the Zoo.

Since the last time we went, signs have been added that say "No Smoking, Please." I was excited to enjoy the zoo sans cigarette smoke.

You can imagine my dismay, then, when a man walked by with an enormous cigar clenched between his teeth. It was soooo stinky. This same man had a long beard, a muscular build, and a bandanna on his head. He was distinctive enough that I noticed him a few minutes later when we neared the lion enclosure. He was off the path, picking up something in the wooded area.

What was he doing? You're going to love this: He was picking up rocks to throw at the lions. You see, they were sleeping, and he wanted them to wake up. So he threw rocks at them.

Lucky for the lions (or perhaps himself), he didn't even come close to hitting them. It was one of those moments when you think, "did I just see someone do that?"