A few years ago, my cousin Jana posted a blog entry about her internal conflict over Santa Claus. That is, to do or not to do.
At the time, I thought her concerns were unusual. Perhaps she was over-thinking this part of childhood.
But as Victor grew old enough to appreciate Christmas, I found myself similarly conflicted about promoting a belief in the jolly old elf.
I wasn't trying to make Christmas less commercial (I love presents) or more religious (we are clear about the religious nature of the holiday). But I didn't want to actively promote something that, although fun, is not true. Maybe it stems from the same part of me that hates practical jokes.
This year, Victor has asked me flat out a number of times is Santa is real. I always respond, "What do you think?" He always responds that Santa is real and gives reasons. I ask if he can think of any other explanations for his reasons. (Not to kill his Santa-love, but because it's an important thinking skill.)
A few weeks ago, Victor, in frustration, told me that I didn't believe in Santa, but he did. Because Santa is real. I told him--expressing support, not exasperation--that it was fine to believe in Santa. It was a nice compromise.
So now Victor believes in Santa, but also believes that his parents do not believe in Santa.
Jeremy thinks I'm being a little silly about all of this.
Victor, though, tested me the other day by ringing a jingle bell from Santa's sleigh that he got at school. He demanded to know if I could hear it.
I could hear it.
5 comments:
If I ever have children, I plan I'm teaching them about Santa living in the north pole and having flying reindeer, elves who make toys, Mrs. Clause making cookies, sleigh bells on the roof..the whole deal. Peter agrees.
But I'm not a parent, so what do I know.
I know a couple of people that have chosen not to let their kids believe in Santa. I also know of a good friend that just admitted to her 11 year old that Santa isn't real (after her 11 year old asked and seemed to believe that he wasn't) and her 11 year old was stunned and so disappointed and my friend swears she'll let her kids believe until they are married. It's a personal decision. My personal feeling is that it adds magic to childhood and who can't appreciate some magic? I mean we just went to Disneyland and watching the parades and shows made me believe in magic, just a little bit, all over again. Childhood should be filled with magic and imagination. Did Victor's teacher read them the Polar Express? :) Hearing the bell sounds like Polar Express.
I was thinking about this very issue this morning! I struggle with it too. I did the same thing with Joe, and a few months ago, Joe finally said, "I know Santa isn't real." I think he was a little sad, but okay with it. Last year, I could tell he really wanted to believe but started to get an inkling that it wasn't true. I still do the Santa thing for the other kids. Is lying wrong?
Brent has a sister who's family does not believe. Ok I will say the parents tell the children, santa isn't real. My nephew was the biggest support of santa for YEARS he believed so strongly, and wanted the magic alive. I felt bad watching the poor boy want the magic and having his parents deny his every attempt. That being said I understand its a personal decision.
I love that you are teaching him reasoning/debating skills at such a young age. He couldn't have a better teacher in this area than you. :) I think it is great that he believes even though he thinks you don't. But my favorite part of this post is that he tested your belief by ringing a bell. LOL!!!
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