I love reading advice columns. Miss Manners is my favorite. I think I'd also like to give advice.
So if you have a question, post it below or email me and I will answer it!
Our first answer-seeker is Katrina, who wants to know if I am an American mother or a Tiger Mother.
Well, Katrina, I have read Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and the associated WSJ articles and comments.
Let's break the Tiger Mother into several parts: (1) being adamant about making your child master certain skills or do certain things, (2) not letting your child quit those things, (3) the list of things you are adamant about, and (4) the level of contention you are willing to introduce and endure to achieve your goals.
The Tiger Mother is all four of these things--take away one and you don't have a Tiger Mother. Since the Tiger Mother's list of things-to-do is very specific to Tiger Mothers (grades, music, and related competitions) and the level of contention has one setting (excruciatingly high), I am not a Tiger Mother.
However, I admire the Tiger idea that parents should require children to do worthwhile things whether they like it or not. Church activity, piano lessons, and cleaning the house come to mind. But the contention Ms. Chua introduced into her home is an unacceptable price for what she got. An accomplished competitive pianist or violinist? Who cares? That's not what I'm interested in building.
Nor am I interested in "American" children who do what they like and follow their passion (whatever that means--I love Ms. Chua's idea that you build passion when you excel at something, which only comes after extensive practice).
I am interested in building Mormon men who marry Mormon women and have Mormon children.
Let's use a dreadful phrase and call it being a Mormon Mother. You must do items (1) and (2) about a different list of (3) while keeping (4) at bay.
6 comments:
HAHAHAAAAA! *adjusts tiara*, I feel so special for such a specialized post! I read an update on Chua, and found her to be far more human, and fallible than the original "You are GARBAGE!" article first portrayed.
I too do not think that we should eliminate competition, winners and losers, and accept sub par results when I KNOW my kids can do better, but name calling and no sleepovers is a bit much.
Viewing my boys and girl as "frail little children" dissipated after having to replace a number of household items. Like doors and toilets that they broke.
So, if Brigham Young was the "Lion of the Lord," I guess I'm not a Tiger mom, I'm more of a Lion mom. "Lets get our stuff done, running like mad ~ Eat something, and then lie around/nap because we've earned it" type mom. ;D
A Lion Mom--I like it!
I have a question for Ms. SwindleFun, how did you get that frosting so red on that easter bunny cake last year? Do you have a trick or just two jars of food coloring?
Swindlefun...I have three questions:
1. When is it ok to say "no" when someone asks you for a favor? Also, is it ok to say "no" when someone invites you to an activity that you just don't want to attend, even if you are able to?
2. When someone asks a question in a comment on my blog, how should I respond? In another comment? In an email? Or not at all because the person isn't actually looking for an answer?
3. At my gym there are three TVs in the small women's workout area. When you workout in there, you can not help but semi-watch every TV since they are so close together. Do you think it's rude for someone to watch a non-neutral show on a TV? For example: a show about a whale giving birth, a gruesome surgery, a man with his hand up a horse's behind? Is it appropriate for me to dislike the women who is subjecting me to this material? I don't subject her to Jersey Shore, and I feel like she's rude by subjecting me to animal grossness. Am I being unfair? After all, no one is forcing me to workout in that room. What would you do? Hit the gym an hour later to avoid her? Barf in front of her to prove your point? Or just hate her from afar?
Oh my gosh this is my new favorite thing. I am going to start thinking of some awesome questions.
And how hilarious is it that Jake, of all people, just told me about this Tiger mom thing. Ahaha.
I can't wait for you to answer Liz's questions!
Please add this question to your queue. If you were preparing an "etiquette dinner" for 20 some odd teenagers in your church youth group, would you teach them to cut their meat the American way, with fork and knife alternating in the right hand, or the European way, with fork in the left hand?
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