Another Invitation Question

This question comes from a friend expecting a baby.

Dear SwindleFun,

I am expecting a baby! It is not my first (or second), but some friends have offered to give me a shower. It sounds fun, but I'm not sure whom to invite. Do you have any suggestions?

Answer: Congratulations! And I do have a suggestion. Since this is not your first (or second) baby, when showers are customarily given, I recommend a smaller guest list of close friends.

When I make a guest list, I try to include all friends of a similar intimacy or social circle. Invitations are a kind of social currency, so you want to take people's feelings into account. This is especially easy for showers, where the cost of adding another guest is a chair and chicken salad croissant.

For guests, I always recommend keeping an invitation under your hat unless you KNOW who has been invited. This caution extends to blogging or posting on Facebook about parties to which other people have not been invited.